aim away messages dashboard confessional lyrics

But part of me just wanted to scream at him how much I wanted him deep down and regretted that I didn't tell him how I felt all those years ago. I told him about my current boyfriend and he told me he was seeing this girl. He ran to me and hugged me and told me how much he missed me and we both caught up quickly. Instead, I left the party like a wussy but as I was walking to my car with my friend he shouted my name. I wanted to go over to him and hug him and talk.

I was talking to one of my guy friends and I didn't even notice him across the room sitting down with a girl in his lap chatting with him. I haven't talked to him since senior year, but recently I saw him at a huge party at my friend's apartment.

He was trying to move on, and trying to date other girls. And throughout our last year at high school I could feel a strong desire in me every time I was with him, though I never admitted it. Everything sort of changed between us after that night in the summer. Senior year was the last time we hung out and even during that year I could feel us growing apart. Not a day goes by that I don't think about him and wonder what could have been between me and him if I had told him I loved him back. I can truthfully say that me holding back the night he told me everything was the biggest mistake of my life. We both now go to different colleges in the city and the past 3 years I have missed him dearly. When he sent that I didn't know if I really did have feelings for him and I wasn't sure what would happen to our relationship as friends because of all of this. why? because I was scared and unbelievably embarrassed, confused, and immature. Text me back if you want, you don't have to I understand, but I just thought I would let you know how I feel.'Īnd the fucking idiot I am, I sent back: 'I don't feel that way about you, I'm sorry.' I'm sorry if I startled you earlier at Casey's house but i just couldn't hold back anymore. You've been my best friend, but i want to be more, so much more. I don't know what made me finally admit it but I guess all along you were the one I loved. I can tell you anything, I can be myself and be weird as shit around you and you won't make fun of me, every time I was sad with my parents divorce you always cheered me up, and its really fucking cute when you're annoyed. When I'm with you, even just hanging out doing nothing is so much fun. I never felt anything amazing or special. Marisa and Nicole (two of the girls he dated) were great but it always ended because I noticed i never truly was satisfied and happy with them. For some reason it took me this long to realize how I really feel about you. 'Since you're not answering I'll just text you what I want to say.Okay here it goes. I have the text he sent me saved in my phone to this day: Later that night he called me twice (I ignored both)so finally he texted me. I had no idea why he did that, why i had left him hanging and pulled away, and how i felt about the kiss. I cried in my car the whole way home, I was so fucking confused.

I walked out of the room before he could say anything and I made up some lame excuse to my other friends why I had to leave. I was surprised and felt odd because it had never been like this between us. One day me, him, and a couple of other friends were hanging out at someone's house and me and him were in the kitchen alone chatting and there was a moment when we looked at each other and it was like something changed, i felt weird and excited at the same time. I don't know what it was exactly, just some sort of feeling was present that hadn't been there before, it's like there was something more. Honestly, I really had no feelings for him at all in a love sense but the summer going into senior year (we had both been single for a while), our hangouts were becoming different. A lot of times I was single while he had a girlfriend he really liked. He had dated a few girls and I dated here and there, nothing special though. Wow, this song brings back so many memories.Īll throughout high school i had a really attractive guy best friend, we were extremely close.

Aim away messages dashboard confessional lyrics